Sexual Healing & Empowerment

Crushing Social Constructs

So for the longest time, I thought I was asexual. (Ok but like why was I so naive back then lol.) I guess I thought I was asexual because I didn’t care for sex. Like at all. Nothing turned me on. I didn’t understand any of it and it made me feel like a complete outsider. I felt completely isolated from my peers for years, especially during high school when everyone I knew was f*cking like bunnies and constantly talking about it. I would never know what to say when my friends would talk about sex positions and sizes. All the boys in my class thought I was a prude or a lesbian. When I finally lost my virginity to my high school sweetheart, I approached it very matter of factly with him, just sort of like oh ok, sure, let’s bang. In my head, I just remember asking myself, is it over yet, like is he done? What even is this.  1000% no doubt thought I was the problem. Was not good for self-esteem. Bleh. Then my college boyfriend came along and he was very open-minded. I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t love it. And we were together for 3.5 years! Basically, I had sex, just no sex drive up until after college. I mean depression and anxiety probably contributed a lot to that. Libido was drier than a raisin. So yep, that’s why I thought I was asexual, but in reality that could not be further from the truth… 

Sexuality is a Spectrum

Sexuality, identities, and gender roles aren’t black or white. You don’t have to be strictly this or that. You can be anything you want. Everyone falls on a different spectrum and I surely found mine. After college, I strictly experimented with women/myself. I figured well, I don’t enjoy sex with men, so let’s flip the coin. I look back on this time (2013-2016) and refer it to the No Dick Era. During this time, I remained single and NSA. I shut down every guy. I dismissed all advances from the opposite sex, not because I hated men but because I just did not care for anything they had to offer me. I started gaining so much confidence in myself, building self-esteem that could only be met with at the highest frequency. That self-love and body positivity gave me a happy, healthy, rewarding sex life. Like, forget turning off the lights, let’s get a ceiling mirror baby! God, women are so damn beautiful and fine.

body positivity.jpeg

Natural Desire

Sex is just better when you both connect mentally and emotionally. And that is the gospel truth. My recent ex was extremely generous in bed, so that helped. While being with him, I realized it’s not that I didn’t lust or desire men. I only lust and desire people whom I connect with on all levels, mentally, emotionally, physically. The correct term for this is demisexual. I’ve also been told by a lot of people I sometimes carry this masculine energy. Not in a tomboyish sporty way, but in a dominant body language, assertive, take-charge, no-nonsense kind of way. Learning to express myself through fluid fashion has definitely made me more comfortable in my own skin in that aspect.

Cate Blanchett and Emily Blunt in menswear (2014)

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell 

People who know me, know what I’m about. I never liked to focus on my sexuality because I never felt that it was necessary. My sexuality does not define all that I am, it’s merely a part of who I am.  I didn’t feel the need to “come out” to my close circle of friends. Do people “come out” as straight or do they just continue to live their daily normal lives? Exactly. However, I do understand why some LGBTQ members would want to come out to their family and friends.  I know the Jesus loving conservatives and right-wing Republicans will strongly disagree and condemn me to the pits of hell for saying this, but once we normalize all LGBTQ rights, it won’t have to be a thing anymore.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Breaking the Myths against Bisexuals:

1. Bisexuals aren’t more accepted than gays or lesbians, we are simply more sexualized and there is a huge difference between being the center or fantasy and being accepted as a person, a regular human being.

2. Bisexuals are not confused, because this is not a phase. It simply a part of who we are.

3. Bisexuals aren’t nymphs. I don’t want to have sex with everyone I meet. That is NOT how this works. I know what I want. And we don’t live for threesomes. FOH !!!!


Pussy: A Reclamation

To conclude. Ladies. We need to realize just how much POWER is in the pussy. Do not let anyone waste your time. Get to know yourself in a deep and profound way. Spend time with yourself. Embrace your inner kink. Your sexual needs and pleasures are so important to unlocking the Goddess within you. All hail the pussy. Power to the MF PUSSY! And thank you to the author of my latest read below for helping me step into my true feminine power.

pussy a reclamation.jpg


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