Burnt Out

Hey guys, I’m alive. Yes, I know I say that a lot. But it’s true. I haven’t had a weekend to myself in months. And I feel dead-ish. I slept for 10 hours yesterday. Not nearly enough to make up for the lack of sleep these past 3 weeks. In the words of Drake, couple things due but I always get it done.

Why do we recharge our phones, but never ourselves?

Sorry, I can’t hear you over all the self-care I’m doing right now. My family, writing, and art – is the only thing I can focus on now. Americans are always on the go.  So much to do. So little time. It’s always go-time. Always in a rush to go somewhere, to do something. Finishing something just to get started on something else. I am not saying don’t set goals and ahieve. I am saying know when you’ve reached your limits and slow down to recharge. We have the shortest maternity leave for mothers in the world. Job stability and security at an all time low. We are the most overworking nation in the world. Many of my friends (including myself) have at least 2 jobs and a side hustle (making music, local business, dog walking, nanny/babysitting, freelance photographers, etc) so to say that millenials are lazy or entitled, that’s never been the case and I’m sick of the bashing. 42% of Americans report they frequently feel guilty about relaxing or having fun because the strong work ethic culture is so dominant in the US, according to a study. This self-destructive way of living on edge has got to stop and I have always known this, which is why I sometimes go MIA for weeks, months, and once – I didn’t have social media for nearly 2 years because I simply didn’t care to. The marjoity of Americans feel bad for having fun.

I’m the type to go the extra mile for my employer. As for my personal brand, even when I’m deep REM seleeping, I’m subconciously scheming for a new creative idea, or brainstorming a manuscript the my dad’s biography. So when I need to recharge, I do it. And I am finding more and more ways to recharge without it disrupting my daily life.

being alive is expensive

Gemini Season 

After celebrating Memorial Day weekend on Anna Maria Island drinking mimosas at 10AM followed by long midnight walks on the beach,  I then celebrated my birthday hosted by my loving boyfriend with all my friends. All this has been… overwhelming, but at the same time, incredibly magical and a complete blur. My BFF flew in along with my brother, his girlfriend and his roommate to visit me for my special night.

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My bestie of course stayed with me for two weeks. As usual, we got into plenty of crazy shenanigans that shall be kept locked in the secret vault, Winston and Nick style (New Girl TV series reference) While she was here though, we agreed on being completely over the party scene. The basic party scene, at least. It’s all about sipping Cristal on a yacht, galas supporting charity events, dancing in the streets of Barcelona, shopping in Milan, picnics near the Swiss mountains…. that’s our idea of a “party” now. Screw paying for overpriced cocktails and getting groped at your favorite local bar. I feel my age creeping on me. These hangovers are no joke.

Burnt Out

It’s not BYOB. It’s BOB. I’m burnt out, bihhhh. Dont invite me for anything other than light day drinking, outdoor activities, or events with food readily availible.

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English rose tea to release toxins and de-stress.

PSA: Less alcohol consumption, more sober encounters

I’ve always been a social drinker. Alcohol consumption is so ingrained into our culture that I find difficulty in not having a cocktail at events, dinner parties, etc. I’m also an INFJ, which means having that buzz gives me the boost I need, otherwise I’ve reached my social quota for the week and start to become an awkard wallflower. I honsetly don’t know why acoholism is so downplayed in our generation. That needs to change. When your friend drinks until she blacks out, there is something going on there. We resort to alchol consumption as a solution for so many things, such as breaking the ice, calming your nerves, going on dates, easing the tension, being more outgoing, friendly, anxiety, etc. In reality, we can do all these things without having to rely on a glass of wine.

I have officially reached the age in my mid-twenties where I am retiring from the whole bar/club scene. Being around drunk, sweaty, obnoxious people, screaming over loud music, yeah that just doesn’t sound like a good time anymore. I got the experience. The entire experience. Too much experience. Vegas, NYC, Miami. I mean, I’ve been doing it since I was 18. Doesn’t matter what club, bar, city, its all hype. Count me out. My new thing is meeting for martinis in swanky jazz lounge with the occasional live music dive bar somewhere along the beach.

Back to Basics

To end this rant, when my BFF flew back home, I also hopped on a plane home for father’s day weekend to be with my dad as he starts his first of many chemo rounds. Cancer treatment is just like what you see in the movies. Surreal. I’ll spare you the graphic details, but seeing my Dad in the condition he breaks my heart every day. The minute I talk or think about it, I fall apart. So what do I do? I pull a classic move and I don’t talk about it. It’s been nice to have distractions. But now it’s time to face the long journey ahead of us.

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